Mantra of a Single Boomer
Packing for a girl’s trip. No, not inspired by the movie last year. We enlightened- girls-just- wanna- have- fun Boomers have been taking these trips for years. Just haven’t had the connections to turn it into a million dollar movie… Gurl, don’t hate …participate.
The trip is 2 months out so packing actually means sticking mini post it tabs ( meant for readers of books) on the hangers of clothes I plan to take. This way I can periodically check the inventory and delete or add as the big day nears. Thus, ensuring that my I only travel with one carryon bag motto is enforced. I don’t know if I read about this in one of those Boomer how to simplify your life AARP articles (as if being a Boomer could be anything other than simple…is that a conundrum?) or if I dreamed about it. But so far it seems to be working. If the weather changes or my itinerary improves….Did that automated message from Amtrak say that there have been schedule changes for your trip…
This post is Really about what to do when you are living Single and want to avoid some of the pitfalls Big Brother/Society/The Man/World/ place in your path.
First, do not ever buy clothes that fasten with a hook and eye. Those of you who sew will recognize this term. Its from back in the day and has made it way onto the 2018 runway. For the uniformed, I have posted a picture below. No matter how cute, how discounted, how many times it beckons to you from the H&M hanger. Do not, I, repeat, take it home. Remember that perky salesperson will not be waiting in Your closet to help you button the damn thing up. Face it, there are just some clothes a single person can’t wear…and this is one of them.
Next, read a book or watch a video on how to perform self Heimlich maneuver. Try it out beforehand on several sturdy door frames preferably near the kitchen. This is important because when you are scarfing down those yummy cheesy grits in the insomniac hour and start to gag, you will need to have this procedure for saving Your life down pact. Trust me, that’s why I’m Still Here. Forget about falling in the bathtub…those silver guard rails will protect you from that. But choking on your carefully prepared cuisine… well, check the morgue.
Lastly, invest in a good aluminum baseball bat. Or maybe its titanium. One of those man made metals that replaced the good ol’ fashioned wooden bat. These can be found in any sports department and next to pepper spray (requires you to get too close to the intruder/and to periodically check the expiration date…did that say 2011…) Wasp spray, (effective but a little unwieldly and may be empty if you are a patio lover), are a Single person’s best friend. That chi chi little Shiz Tsu, can only bark and rarely bites. So this bat will make the intruder think you auditioned for the movie Breaking In…shout out to Being Mary Jane.
Now where did I put that inflatable man…oops pillow?
Love and light. Comments are free and always 🙏🏿