Ten Things To Know About Sex After 60…Him/Her

I love research. Think it is the frustrated lawyer in me. Or a holdover from my youth and curiositykilledthecat days.

Recently, I overheard a conversation in the waiting room of my favorite practitioner that got my juices flowing…the creative ones…that is.

Two men were talking about their sex life. Now that they had reached the AARP years.

One was bemoaning his, while the other was relating stories of wild, torrid evenings filled with sexual scenes that could rival any from 50 Shades.

Who to believe? Mr. Sexisdeadafter60 or Mr. ManImgettingmorethanIeverHave

Reader, Sharpen your pencils.

Here are the facts:

The late great Songstress Nancy Wilson was a master of prose, innuendo and Sex

10 good years, 10 good years. All a woman has got is 10 good years…You better get yo man while the getting is good…you better light that fire while you still got wood.

Nancy knew what she was singing about.

According to the Researchers, many of today’s BBs are enjoying a healthy sex life well into their golden years.

Better healthcare, nutrition and medical advances mean BBs are living longer and therefore having sex longer.

According to the experts, Sex after 60 can lead to better number recognition for Mars and better memory for Venus.

Dang, is that why He had all those skeezers’ phone numbers and NO names in his Galaxy 8?…and She could remember all the times HE cheated with them?

Sex is wasted on the young is more than just a saying.

With Maturity comes Intimacy and all roads Do Not lead to wham bam thank you ma’am.

BBs can find real pleasure in hugging, kissing, and the Rom Com staple…Holding Hands.

Sex after 60 equals freedom from worry about having dem Babies. But remember STDs is a Real thing and still transmittable after 60.

Erectile Dysfunction for Lads and Vaginal Dryness for the Ladies can be an issue for some BBs. A trip to your Physician, Pharmacy or Porn store can help with these conditions.

Your Swinging from the Ceiling, Breaking furniture in Every room, Going for 8 hours with 2 snack breaks in between Days are probably OVER.

But new sources of pleasure are at the tip of your tongue, in the KandiKoatedBedroom catalog, or waiting for some new EverReady batteries.

So BBs, grab some granola and a green smoothie. and show them Milennials whatyomamagaveyou!

Peace and Light!

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SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY

Is what He calls it

When He takes you to bed

After you have taken himTo Court.

Like an elaborate chess game

The 20 year relationship

two moves forward

One move back.

In the background Gladys moans

Neither one of us Wants to be the First to say Goodbye.

And yes Shakespeare

Parting is such Sweet Sorrow

But breakupWe must.

If I am to survive

If I am to breathe

If I am ever to find

My smileAgain

My laughterAgain

My Romantic Again

And Be clothed

In my Right MindAgain.

Vows broken

Cast carelessly aside

Another woman

in My marital bed

Head perched

on my satin pillow.

Secret phone calls.

Thousands of texts.

Midnight Rendezvous.

All belie My Innocence

And the lies

the lies

the lies

All starting to sound like the truth.

You know I will always love you hon. You ain’t got nothing to worry about with ME.We gon’ always be TOGETHER.

Singing Garth love songs

To me at karaoke

Where you thinkingAbout Her

and Not Me?

What makes a man

Turn and walk away

After you’ve given him

Your Everything?

Sacrificed your very soul

Just to be with him.

Gurl, what you see in That man?He ain’t even yo type.Definitely ain’t on yo Level.

Mama said there would be days like this

days like this…

Put yourself in Jesus Hands

Insomnia is now my bedmate.

Sleepless nights that never end.

And no this ain’t no fairytale.

No Stranger on a white Horse

galloping to save me.

Save yourself, gurl

Run, Run

Anywhere

Away from Him

Away from Hurt

Away from Disbelief

Away from Disappointment

Away from Shame

Hmph hmph hmph

26 years ago

Over half My Life

IWish I Could

GoBACK

ToThe Day

BEFORE WE MET

And SKIP My REGRET…

YOU.