Ten Things To Know About Sex After 60…Him/Her

I love research. Think it is the frustrated lawyer in me. Or a holdover from my youth and curiositykilledthecat days.

Recently, I overheard a conversation in the waiting room of my favorite practitioner that got my juices flowing…the creative ones…that is.

Two men were talking about their sex life. Now that they had reached the AARP years.

One was bemoaning his, while the other was relating stories of wild, torrid evenings filled with sexual scenes that could rival any from 50 Shades.

Who to believe? Mr. Sexisdeadafter60 or Mr. ManImgettingmorethanIeverHave

Reader, Sharpen your pencils.

Here are the facts:

The late great Songstress Nancy Wilson was a master of prose, innuendo and Sex

10 good years, 10 good years. All a woman has got is 10 good years…You better get yo man while the getting is good…you better light that fire while you still got wood.

Nancy knew what she was singing about.

According to the Researchers, many of today’s BBs are enjoying a healthy sex life well into their golden years.

Better healthcare, nutrition and medical advances mean BBs are living longer and therefore having sex longer.

According to the experts, Sex after 60 can lead to better number recognition for Mars and better memory for Venus.

Dang, is that why He had all those skeezers’ phone numbers and NO names in his Galaxy 8?…and She could remember all the times HE cheated with them?

Sex is wasted on the young is more than just a saying.

With Maturity comes Intimacy and all roads Do Not lead to wham bam thank you ma’am.

BBs can find real pleasure in hugging, kissing, and the Rom Com staple…Holding Hands.

Sex after 60 equals freedom from worry about having dem Babies. But remember STDs is a Real thing and still transmittable after 60.

Erectile Dysfunction for Lads and Vaginal Dryness for the Ladies can be an issue for some BBs. A trip to your Physician, Pharmacy or Porn store can help with these conditions.

Your Swinging from the Ceiling, Breaking furniture in Every room, Going for 8 hours with 2 snack breaks in between Days are probably OVER.

But new sources of pleasure are at the tip of your tongue, in the KandiKoatedBedroom catalog, or waiting for some new EverReady batteries.

So BBs, grab some granola and a green smoothie. and show them Milennials whatyomamagaveyou!

Peace and Light!

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Blogging Again…

Well Readers, it has been a minute since I last sat in front of this blinking cursor.

Let’s just say like my grandma Rachel used to say, God required me to ‘sit down’ for a minute.

The genesis for this came in the form of a rear end accident that occured almost 2 years ago while I was parked at the local post office.

Yes, I believe in snail mail…even have all my hate mail/bills directed to a PO box that I check periodically.

I had just left said establishment and was sitting in my car perusing the latest edicts from AARP…10 Best Places to Retire (if you have money, of course) when a loud boom followed by a forceful slamming of my venerable ’99 Cherokee assaulted my body.

The perpetrator of this action was a delivery van backing into my unmoving vehicle (I did say I was parked didn’t I) at a rather high speed for said parking lot.

I saw the lady parked next to me running from her car with a look of fear on her face

And because of the times we live in, I assumed it was some type of attack being rained down on said PO…maybe a worker gone postal…outside the building.

Or perhaps, it was some type of random assault in which I was the starring victim.

But imagination aside, it turned out to be an errant driver-in-a-hurry whose actions turned me into an ‘accident victim.’

This accident rendered me useless for months. I spent long hours lying on heating pads, consuming mildly addicting pain meds and muscle relaxants, begging friends to drive me everywhere including endless visits to physical agony (oops) therapy sessions.

And it culminated in a deja vue experience with former paralegal moi standing in a courtroom pleading my case to an understanding, sympathetic, Boomer age judge.

The legal wrangling alone is worth a Blog, but I was warned by my legal mouthpiece to refrain from discussing my case while it was pending.

And it is now just a mere 1 1/2 years later that this ‘case’ has been resolved and I am able to find my Voice again.

Did she just say that she hasn’t written a Blog in almos’ 18 months cause she had a court case?

Gurl, please, we know you had Writer’s Block.

Or she was working in that flower/ herb/or whatever she growing Jardin.

Well, reader, I wish I could say I was “richer and wiser” because of the experience.

What I can say is that my 60 something year old neck/ back will never be the same again and I think I have PTSD about the Post Office.

So much, in fact,that I just signed up online to pay my yearly PO box fee.

Now, if I could figure out how to get them to mail me the contents of my always bulging box.

Hmm, that might be a way to save the venerable snail mail business.

Well, it’s approaching daylight, And No, my insomnia has not disappeared.

I hope that you will allow me to visit your inbox sometimes when my creative juices are flowing.

As always, I look forward to your comments.

What is a writer without a reader?

But guys, be kind, like Badu said…I’m an artist and sensitive about my sh*t!.