LADIES, LET’S TAKE A HOLIDAY FROM MEN…AGAIN

Liberal Lin

Author and relationship expert, John Gray, PhD. really nailed it back in the 90s with his book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.  The premise of this couple’s manual is that men and women have such different needs and expectations, they may as well be from different planets.  The book sold millions of copies and spent over 100 weeks on the best seller list.

Hailed by the couples’ therapy community as the bible of male/female understanding, this book finally threw all the cards on the table and enlightened millions of bewildered men and women (mostly women) who made their way through its pages.  A shrewd marketing person even came out with the book on tape version making it accessible to those non-readers who could gain enlightenment on their morning commute.

Being a lover of all things Venus, I too purchased a copy of this book and after…

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LADIES, LET’S TAKE A HOLIDAY FROM MEN…AGAIN

 

Author and relationship expert, John Gray, PhD. really nailed it back in the 90s with his book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.  The premise of this couple’s manual is that men and women have such different needs and expectations, they may as well be from different planets.  The book sold millions of copies and spent over 100 weeks on the best seller list.

Hailed by the couples’ therapy community as the bible of male/female understanding, this book finally threw all the cards on the table and enlightened millions of bewildered men and women (mostly women) who made their way through its pages.  A shrewd marketing person even came out with the book on tape version making it accessible to those non-readers who could gain enlightenment on their morning commute.

Being a lover of all things Venus, I too purchased a copy of this book and after devouring its pages attempted to have a conversation with husband #3, the Keeper of All Knowledge.

Blah, Blah, Blah…was all I remembered from that conversation as he immediately tried to discredit the author.  I even purchased the book on tape version as a birthday present, but it remained untouched. His commute, he said, was only a few minutes and he preferred listening to country music…more relaxing…less enlightening.

So, with that and more recent lack- of-communication-events in mind, Ladies, I want to revive my call for the “Let’s Take a Holiday From Men Day”.* Regardless of how blissful your current relationship may be, I believe that all women need some Me Time.  Here are a few suggestions on how to spend your  Me Day.

1. Begin by downloading Heather Headley’s In My Mind.  This is soulful, Caribbean almost church with a beat music.  (Did you know Me Time was co-written by Baby Face and mixed at a studio in Va Beach).

All things being equal

I always put you first

You know that I’ve been down for you.

Through better and through worse

All things being equal

Boy, I’ve been more than cool

So it seems only natural

To expect the same of you.

…I need some Me time…Not some you and some I.  Just some Me time…that’s all.

Turn the volume way up and dance around in your Victoria Secrets as Heather harmonizes the anthem of Women Worldwide.

2. Next, set the TV so that No channels with balls being bounced, tossed, passed, chucked or dunked can be shown.  Clean the remote (studies show it contains more germs than your toilet) with a cotton ball and a little listerine.  Set the remote so only shows from Bravo, Lifetime, WE, OWN, Hallmark and PBS run continuously for 24 hours.

3. Make a special trip to the Mall and buy that purse, pair of shoes, designer dress…something that you have been eyeing for months and take it home without removing the price tag.  Display it  proudly, unashamedly in the front of the closet for  Him and the whole world to see.

4. Pull out your stash of cookbooks and clipped recipes and prepare a Meatless Gourmet Meal that is not only healthy but looks exactly like the photo.  Serve your meal on the fine china you reserve for his mother together with real napkins and a long stemmed wine glass full of something French and expensive from the top shelf at Total Wine.

5. Scour the bathtub of all those male (and dog) body hairs and have a Spa experience with your favorite scents bubbling  in the tub surrounded by a roomful of candles with Luther or Kem crooning softly and lovingly in the background.

6. Lastly, pull out those expensive satin sheets hidden in the back of the linen closet.  Put on your most comfortable nightie…no thongs or g straps those are for him.. unbonnet your hair, moisturize your face and have the most restful sleep you’ve had in months dreaming about how you are going to celebrate your Next Holiday from Him.

* From my original post in 2012 and 2014.

Love and Light

Comments are always welcome fellas…smiling

 

Impromptu International Dinner

To celebrate the return of a dear friend and my Foodie buddy Flyboy, who just returned from the Motherland after a long 3 years, I held an Impromptu dinner with a few friends….some Vegetarian some not. Flyboy is a world traveler by virtue of his ..thank you for your Service…and his love of ethnic food rivals mine.

Many of you know of my tendency to batch cook..usually once or twice a month, on a day when not much is going on. And that is how the rainy- is -it time-to- build-an-ark-Noah day started.

My frig looked like a frozen tundra, and I had just returned from yet another sojourn to ye olde market.

I immediately set to work, pulling out all the contents of the Cold One, meats and fish in the left sink, vegetables in the right careful not to disturb the Breyers, smoothie fruit, or leftover lemon pound cake.

To my delight, the fridge yielded the ingredients for what became an international veggie/ meat eater dinner.

After sending a few texts…I’m cooking. You’re invited. It’s this evening. No, that’s not last minute, that’s impromptu..I donned my Betty crocker apron, fired up my kindle ( to pull up recipes), grabbed a few trusty cookbooks and my own collection of favorite recipes, poured a glass of rose, turned the stereo up loud and entered the world of forget your troubles and let’s get happy.

Two hours later. ..Voila! The aroma of Indian lentil curry, fresh spring vegetables in Masala sauce, garlicky peppery African chicken n collards, cauliflower/brocolli /parmesan bake, roasted curry spiced zucchini and squash, spinach and garlic stir fry, Pad thai (shrimp and veggie), and slow roasted lamb chops permeated the air.

After everything was baking, simmering and roasting, I prepared a few starters: beet and cheese tortellini on a pick, Havarti and cherries, spicy chili lime pecans toasted, and my newest grocery find..creamy dill lentil chips ( a minute in a hot oven brings out all that creamy dill goodness plus a pleasing crunch.

For dessert,  I gathered all the fresh fruit in the crisper, washed it with the Fit organic fruit and veggie wash ( Thank you nice stranger in the veggie aisle (yes, Virginia I talk to Strangers) who gave me 2 tips: cucumbers dipped in natural peanut butter for midday boost and Fit spray…and plated it with what has to be the best yogurt in the dairy, Siggi’s Icelandic cream style black cherry (drop of honey added).

Throughout this entire time, Lil man was staring at me intently, quizzically as only woman’s best friend can, from the hallway adjoining the kitchen. Like his predecessor Lucky, he was hoping against hope that his meager bowl would house the contents of some of this sumptuous feast. Later, after the guests had left and I was busy cleaning up the Mess, a few pieces of perfectly roasted lamb found their way to his aluminum dish.

Yes! He growled, It was worth being secluded in the bedroom while The Humans stuffed their faces!

A picture is worth many words. Here’s what you missed, Reader…

PS the beer, wine and Grey Goose compliments of the guests.

Lil Man is Home!

 

20180722_164003Readers, some of you may remember my post last year..I Got a Man. It detailed how I went to Sears in search of a replacement Nutrabullet blender and made a wrong turn in the Mall ending up at ye olde pet store.

Yes, I know some of you are shaking your head muttering dang puppy mills purveyors. But I was innocently looking at the proverbial ‘puppy in the window’ when the smiling sales Sistah invited me in to hold one of the little fur puffs.

(I will repost The Original  blog so those of you who missed it can view it again).

The good news is despite attempts by human traffickers,  Pirates moored off the Chesapeake Bay and a daunting and scary medical emergency  ( mine not the dog), Lil Man has returned to his rightful owner.  Six months older and still anxiety ridden. ( He was taken from his mother too soon because he needed hernia repair, and did not get the required mother/son bonding).

But Reader, owner and dog are deliriously happy to be together again. Proving once again that persistence, hard work and Faith do pay off!

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100 Things I Love About Montreal pt. 4/5…The People!!!

 

Reader, or soon to be Traveler to Montreal, of all the things I loved about our Neighbor to the North, the people literally ran away with my Heart.  Warm, Smiling, Vivacious, Joyous, Happy, Delighted, Merry…they were all that and a bag of chips…(African American slang for Fantastic).

Standing on a street corner…la rue.. looking at the signs..le metro, la bouche de metro, l’arret de bus… trying to decide if I’m going left/right/ Sideways…oh no, that’s a movie…Pardon, Miss do you need directions?

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Checking into the Residence Inn, tired, sweaty, in need of food/shower/a bed… after an unexpected 12 hour bumpy what-happened-to-the-Express Amtrak train ride...

Oh Miss Linda do not worry, Everything is ready for you…your requested lower floor room, one key or two, do you have bags, Ah you are traveling light. Would you like  a bottle of  cool water. And Welcome to.. .L’hotel de Marriott!

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Welcome to the Marriott! Special Thanks to Sylvain, Veronique, Nick and Karine! You represent Marriott proudly!

H&M, Simon, Aveeda, Ecco, Ralph Lauren, Burberry, Everything for 9.99 and More…High end and low retail grace the streets of Downtown Montreal…like a virtual shopper’s Paradise.  Let the Retail Therapy Begin!

Saleswomen/ men greet you first with a smile and cheerful Bonjour. And if they see the dreaded stranger-in-strange land look, the greeting instantly turns into Hello! How can I help you? Crisis averted.

Pretty, thin, polymer yellowish green CAD$ in Hand... Wait, You mean if I give you $100 US dollars, you will give me $125 Canadian dollars back.  Where do I sign? And don’t worry plastic users  Visa/ Mastercard/AMEX wherever you see the Plus sign are accepted in Canada too.

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Breakfast? Lunch? Dinner?… petite dejeuner, No problem….Interwoven into Downtown Montreal are numerous restaurants many with beautiful  flower decked outdoor cafes, offering a veritable smorsgabord of food from around the world and their own hometown specialties…

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All Foodies know, the best food is where the locals go. In search of lunch on my second day, I heard the roar of the crowd literally coming from a small nondescript building.  When I peered inside I saw the  quaint tiny restaurant was packed to the gills with Citizens/Visitors all gazing at the overhead screen cheering on their favorite World Cup team. 

Bingo!  I was seated at a small table next to a larger one that seemed to be occupied by an entire family.  Their bowls of soupe and chicken salade sat untouched as they gazed reverently, intently at the players on the screen.

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One night after a heady jazz filled, dancing-at-the front-of the-stage kinda night, I took the 5 minute Metro ride back to my hotel.  It was close to midnight, and the cool night air beckoned me to linger outside and enjoy more of Montreal. I passed by an outdoor café near the hotel.

The menu was intriguing  but I was in search of a glass of wine to top off my evening.  When I sat at one of the very French curbside tables, a neatly dressed server immediately appeared and greeted me with a tall glass of perfectly chilled clear water. When I asked about the wine list, she said there was none but what wine did I want. Rose, I replied.  Glass or bottle?  she smiled. I smiled back…. A glass or two.  She returned with a goblet filled with a generous pour of the most heavenly rose.

 

By day 3, I was convinced Le Gouvernement had issued an edict to all Montreal Citizens to be extra friendly, kind, helpful, courteous, cordial to any guest who was visiting their beautiful province.  But NO such edict had been issued.  It is just their natural, humanity conscious way… our neighbors to the North. People matter. All People.

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Immigrants: Haitians, Africans, Asians, Latinos, Middle Easterners, and more. all co exist peacefully and happily.  Eyad, a smiling taxi driver from Pakistan who took me on my final ride through the streets of Montreal said he and his family absolutely loved living there. And, of course, they missed their original home, but  Montreal is were they want to be.

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The LGBT community proudly displays its rainbow flag at the entrance to their community. Confused by this at first( me and a handful of liberal passengers looked questioningly…What? Are they on display.. When the double decker tour bus driver quickly announced Le Village Gai was a renowned place. And that Montreal is one of the few cities in the world to thoroughly embrace their LGBT communities. Smiles. Sighs. Nodding heads…Click click of  camera followed. Rebellion Against the MAn averted.

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I will leave you with a few  more pictures of the People of Montreal.  Please enjoy them as I have. And don’t forget the most picturesque Fall leaves can be seen on the roads leading to Montreal. Who knows I may see you there…September borne.

Love and Light.  Merci Beaucoup. And as Always, Please feel free to Comment/Share and Follow… My Blog

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Sabrina Cosmetic genius
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Apple Store Guru
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Street musicians
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The cell phone charging station ladies
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Girls Nite out at the Jazz Festival
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Even Mickey Ds was there
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At the Canada Greyhound, I complimented Cynthia’s earrings and she  gave them to me…just because!
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Bonjour! and Bon Soir! . (Final segment: Underground Montreal next week)

 

 

 

 

CONVERSATION OVERHEARD…

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Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

Gurl you lucky

You got a man

I look around bewildered

Who is she speaking too

Where is he? Who you talkin’ ’bout

You know what I mean

Damn Everywhere you go

10 sets of male eyes on you

You breeze by smelling of shea patchouli and African oils

Hair coiled lightly scented softly

Framing your dark black black glistening skin

Smile for days

Men wish they could

Catch your eye

But like a Spring butterfly

You and your sheer gauzy cotton

Dresses just float by

Girl I ain’t got no man

No one in my bed

when I close my eyes

Or cuddling up to make

My Undressed body smile

Yeah I had a man

2 3  maybe even 4

But that was back in the day

And I’m living in the present Now

Damn gurl I just knew you had a Man

That sexy gait, like you’re on

A Paris runway

That beaming smile that says

Hello how are YOU

Today

Narrowing your eyes

That lyrical voice

Conjuring up nights

Lying in your cocoon

Gurl I ain’t got a man

They don’t understand

Me

OR what I need to Please

Them

So I just Please Me

Poised on the Precipice

5am and I’m soaking in the too short tub Again

Me and Kem and My thoughts

Swishing swirling like waves

I watched today in the Chesapeake bay.

Summer almost half gone.

feeling unsettled anxious afraid?

Poised on the precipice of something/somewhere.

Exciting/ unknown

Unknowable/ Unrealized

Writing taking flight.

Book deal.
Blog.
Canada sponsorship.
Offer for lecturer @ Univ.
in the fall.

Everything you hoped for

and more baby girl

So why don’t I sleep?

Why

Am I and

my Twitter

insomniac comrads

doing yoga sleep moves

at 3am.

Where is the great love

I wished for

Chanted for

Prayed to Allah/God for.

Friends mostly male

Listen distractedly

They don’t know what

it means to be Black,

Female, 60+, in these Times

Even the select few

the Circle

I have let into

My Secret World

Don’t really comprehend Me

Girlfriends I don’t have many

Concerned with menopause

Failing health weight gain

Why are all the men in prison or way down Low

Gurl you are blessed what you complaining for?

I reply yes I know

and pour

another glass of Wine

Is this what 60 plus is really for.

Memories/regrets/ half lives lived.

Wanna be happy

Wanna Really smile.

We women wear the mask that

Hides and smiles.

Tired of frowning fretting brooding raging

Eating my feelings at 3am

Good black still cracks and gets fat.

You’re so funny

Can make everyone laugh

The tears of a clown are just that

So talented

so thin

look at that Smile

…Got good genes

even the physician scribes.

Ask Robin Williams,Anthony Bourdain, Phyllis Hyman, Donnie Hathaway Gerald Levert

Lt. Steven Nettles…thank you for your service/Your UnwaveringFriendship

All gone before their time

How does it feel to have a graveyard

For a friend?

Bath water so warm

murmurs hush.

Be still.

Peace
Be still.

The one you seek has yet to be born.

Guess I’ll see you next lifetime

…may Be a Butterfly.

(Love and Light!)