Cancer Calling

I knew when I looked at the caller ID.  Before I even hit the decline button. I didn’t want to hear those ugly words come out of anyone’s mouth.

Of course there was a message …We got the report back today… You need to call. I hit the delete message.

Voicemail/caller ID/merge calls…all this technology designed to enhance phone communication sometimes works at cross purposes with Humans.

I  think about how to dismantle this feature.

I pour some wine. Cut a pain pill in half. My jaw is still aching from the abscessed tooth. And promptly fall into a dreamless sleep.

The next day I call. No answer. I leave a message on the voicemail that no one ever listens too.

I continue with my day. Busying myself with all kinds of move related tasks. Dropping off clothes at a Baptist church clothes bank… someone will be happy with these cute dresses with tags still on them, shoes worn once still in the box, purses just like they came from the store paper wadded inside.

I think they call it a shopping addiction. I call it retail therapy. It seems to fill some void I have had this summer. But my new life cannot handle all this excess so I happily give it to the church.

Next stop Salvation army. Men just waking file out the door. One directs me to the office. The smell of urine and maleness  is strong in the dimly lit hallway. The worker who welcomes me is genuinely happy to see me.  I load her arms with comforters, pillows and almost new sheets. She thanks me warmly. I leave.

On to the hip upscale trendy part of town. Ironically, only a few blocks away from the seedy army of salvation. The owner of the upscale consignment shop greets me cheerfully. We have talked and she is anxious to see my wares…The mid century Swedish folding rope chairs I bought 20 years ago. They are worth $800 each. I have 4. They are in excellent condition. How much do I want for them. She is excited to have such a find in her little shop. She can see the dollar signs. Where do I sign. I just want to sell them and move on. They are a reminder of a time when monetarily my life was good but otherwise bad.

The phone rings. The caller ID flashes their name. It is their legal name.  Not the familiar one.  Too emotion engendering. I take a long deep breath.

I watch the squealing ancient coal cars scream past my car. I wonder what it would be like to disappear among those fast moving cars now. To be taken away from the insistent ring of this cell phone. Whisked away in a snarling, screeching mess of iron and steel. Destination unknown.

I hit the accept button.

 

School Daze ( Pt. 2)

If you think the traumatic incident that occurred at the middle school was the end of my teaching career…  Think again.

Teaching was a chosen profession for me. After I made the decision not to attend law school but rather pursue an undergraduate and graduate degree in my first love, English, I was not content to give up on this career that I loved so dearly.

Yes, I could always return to the paralegal arena which had finally become an accepted and even lucrative profession in the South. I even did a brief stint working for the government as a legal analyst, but it was not teaching.

I had traded students for case files, and despite the significant pay increase, I was not satisfied with my 9 to 5-is-it-lunchtime-yet cube existence.

I reasoned that if I  could not teach at a public school, I could seek teaching jobs at community colleges and universities.  My first college teaching position was at a major Virginia university.  Members of the faculty saw me conduct a workshop at a middle school conference and invited me to interview for a faculty position .

I was hired after the interview, mere months after leaving my middle school position. Following that position, I was able to parlay my experience into jobs at several community colleges and an HBCU in Virginia.

Life as a contract professor or adjunct was interesting and challenging especially teaching freshman or adult learners. However, the pay and lack of benefits did not lend itself to the needs of a single parent.

I began considering reentry into public school. But this time up North. The sting left by the uncaring administrators at the middle school was still fresh

By this time, I  had published 2 history books for young people , several journal articles, received several national fellowships, and taught in higher education so I easily secured an 8th grade English position.

The school was in a bedroom community of Washington, DC with a large Hispanic population. I enjoyed the school’s diversity and the nearness of the nation’s capital.  Unfortunately,  an unexpected illness caused me to end my tenure there, but once I recovered, I  found another position in the largest and most influential county in Northern Virginia .

After several years in this county,  I  relocated to a sleepy litle town  in the Northern neck of Virginia  where I  landed a position at both the local high school and community college.

This was my last stop on the teacher train and probably most memorable because of the faculty and students who welcomed me (an urban  Black teacher) into their community and their hearts.

Officially retired now, and pursuing writing fulltime, I  still dip my toes in the teaching pond…subbing at local school districts (my experience working at the local Gifted School will always be a fond memory of both talented students and dedicated educators) and conducting teacher training workshops.

When September rolls around, I still feel that excitement and air of expectancy heralding the start of a new school year

No longer do I  feel anxious upon entering a school; instead I feel at home…looking forward to the interaction with colleagues…and facing a roomful of new, fresh faced, inquisitive students  and the promise that Learning brings.

EACH ONE, TEACH ONE.

photo of sticky notes and colored pens scrambled on table
Photo by Frans Van Heerden on Pexels.com

 

 

 

School Daze

 

back to school conceptual creativity cube
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The TV ads have already begun. Happy, smiling children dancing, doing flips to Bruno Mars, tumbling out of school buses, Ready.  Faces shining, eyes glowing, backpacks bulging, sharpened pencils/notebooks/calculators/jump drives/Ipads at the ready.

As a teacher, now retired, I have mixed emotions about this time of the year.  Summer is not officially over and already the brick and mortar folks are on the band wagon gearing up for the shopping binge that takes place this time of year. True, many schools around the country have begun, but Virginia (Hampton Roads) opted years ago to delay opening until after Labor Day to give the student workers a chance to serve the last tourists visiting the area.

I loved teaching, my students and being in the classroom, but I also savored every day of my two month respite (as did most of my colleagues). The mental and physical stress of teaching coupled with low pay requiring most of us teachers to work a second job takes its toll on those in this noble profession.

Generally teachers have to return one or two weeks before school’s official opening to prepare for the onslaught of new practices, new personnel, new procedures. …this year you will have to write out an individual comment on the student’s report card if the student receives a D in your class…Huh?…You mean explain to the student/parent why he/she got a D…Duh?

In teaching, it seems everything old is always new again.  That’s the thing about education, a forty year veteran teacher used to say… Gurl, if you stay in it long enough everything comes back around…just with a new name and some new research to back it up.  I call this the pendulum swing theory…things were going pretty good (or bad ) and now they seem headed in the other direction.

My entre into teaching was a second career move.  Having exhausted the paralegal field working with lawyers of all ilk… from Hollywood medical malpractice to Virginia Legal Aid, I was ready for a career switch.  My options were law school (and suit up every day in the lawyer armor) or English degree.  The choice was obvious.

During the mid 80s, teachers still had a measure of control over what happened in their classroom.  I remember being given a course outline my first year and told that as long as I covered the material, I could be as creative as I wanted in the delivery to the students.

A year later, when I became Department Head, my principal, Mr. W told me during the interview, I had big shoes to fill as my predecessor had been on the job for 30 years.  He looked at my size 9 foot and smiling said, I don’t think you will have any problem.  And I didn’t.

Under his Joe Clark tempered with Old School cool leadership and the mentoring of other seasoned teachers, I flourished.  The 10 years I spent at the middle school were certainly the high point of my teaching career.  Not only was I able to influence the philosophy and practices of other teachers, I was able to teach I-love -you -one -day/hate -you -the- next hormonal 12 and 13 year olds, critical thinking and reasoning skills while improving their basic reading/writing skills. And also infuse their lives with some history and culture to strengthen their self knowledge. I was even voted Teacher of the Year * by my fellow colleagues. And appeared in a local television news documentary celebrating the teaching profession.

It was there that I wrote my first book buoyed by my students who wanted “to see a text about Egyptian mythology with faces that looked like theirs.”

All of that unfortunately, ended one day when a student, new to the school and upset because I had given the entire class lunch detention for misbehaving while under the care of  a sub, jumped up suddenly and shouted I’m not serving any f###king detention…  I’ma blow your mother F###king head off.  And ran out of the room.

This incident of verbal assault signaled a pendulum shift in my own life. For weeks, I was stalked by this student even after he was finally suspended. At the insistence of the police officer assigned to the school, I took unpaid leave for the remaining few weeks of school. During this time, I found it necessary to seek medical treatment for stress, anxiety and debilitating insomnia as my bubbly personality and infectious smile disappeared.

Eventually,  the case was bought to court (the school assigned police officer had filed a warrant against the student). Ironically, the state of Virginia, had just passed a law stating that verbal assault on a teacher was a crime. The judge  sentenced the student to a juvenile facility and apologized to me on behalf of the Court for all that I had endured.

Unfortunately,  the damage was done. Being inside a school no longer held joy for me …only anxiety. And for some strange reason, even though I was the victim of this crime, the school administration did not take my side. I think they just wanted me to let the whole thing go…after all the student hadn’t physically assaulted me.

But he had run to his locker to get something after he bolted from my class…perhaps a weapon.

..he had come to the school near the end of the year without  records from his previous school and been admitted.

..he had assaulted a student in another neighboring school district.

…he had waited many days following this incident crouched by my parked car until he was chased away by security.

…He had taken away my career,my livelihood, my joie de vie…my love of teaching.

(To be continued…part 2)

Comments welcome. And thank you for Reading my Words.

*Each school selects one teacher.

 

 

 

 

 

Words Fail: Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

The pop up calendar reminds me

Going South this week.

A mocking reminder

of what was

Supposed to Be.

Suitcases packed

Mail put on hold

Neighbors alerted to have

a watchful eye.

Friends bid adieu around

a final flavorful meal.

And then

The Words.

Words fail.

Words hurt.

Words remind.

Words start wars.

Words Destroy.

But …..  Libra004

Words give hope.

Words uplift.

Words empower.

Words transform.

And a Single Word

From on High

Can

Move Mountains.

Words fail me

The expression goes.

Speechless. Muted. Silenced.

Nothing left to say.

The curtain closes.

The sun completes its descent.

Words fail.

But

My Heart Smiles.

 

 

She Wants A Man Who…

Has good conversation

gives stimulation

shows motivation

Cause clothes/rings/cars mean nothing to her

What can you Add to me? What can you Add to me?

Now Cardi b wants a man who

Doesn’t stutter after certain questions

or keep in contact with certain exes

while liking pictures and returning texxxts.

Care for me, Care for me. Better treat me carefully. Live your life of course. Get what he’s dying for. But be careful with me. Not a threat, Its a warning.

Ledisi wants a man who

Will Take all her scars

and her broken heart

Promise he will Cover her

Love her when things get too hard

Show her that she’s his everything

Love her All the Way…All the Way.

She knows she’s not Perfect

But she’s Worth it

And she Deserves it

She will give Everything to him.

If he makes her believe

  That he

Loves her

All the Way… All the way

Heather wants a Man who

is holding her tight

and wishes she could go back

to the day before they met

and skip all the regret

Wishes she wasn’t in love with him

So he couldn’t hurt her

Phyllis Hyman wanted

a Man Who

Will Meet her on the Moon

Soon as he can

In the middle of the Sky

So they can sail upon the breeze

To the Everlasting moment of love.

You’ll be my love and I’ll be yours too. Fly into my love. That’s what I need. So My spirit can be Free

And Adele wants a man like the one she Had.

Never mind. I ‘ll find someone like you. Don’t forget me I beg. Sometimes it lasts in love. But sometimes it hurts instead.

And He Wants

SOMEONE ELSE.

( Lyrics by Ledisi, Cardi b, Heather Headley, Adele and the late great Phyllis Hyman)

Lyrics dissected and reconstructed by Yours Truly.

Love and Light.

Comments always Welcome.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

100 Things I Love About Montreal: Underground

Reader, As the saying goes, I’ve saved the Best for last. My visit to Underground Montreal took place on my last full day in the Beautiful city.

stairs dark station underground
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I had read the promo pamphlets during my first days in the Beautiful city, but avoided going into any of the numerous doors throughout downtown Montreal marked Underground.

I wanted to devote an entire day to this experience. Having visited the likes of U.S underground cities in ATL, Albany, NY and Crystal City, VA the prospect of seeing the world’s largest known subterranean complex was something I wanted to savor.

Montreal’s Underground was built to accommodate residents and visitors during the harsh winter months with its significant snowfalls and cold temperatures.

Multiple shopping strips and office blocks are connected by walkways and rail. Numerous entry points can be found at ground level and via Metro stations.

The temperature on my last full day in Beautiful city was nearing the Hades point. For some reason, mother nature (or the global warming gods) had  decided to backdrop the second week of the Jazz festival with a once in 60 years heat wave.

By noon, the temperature was an earth scorching 95 degrees. I put on my coolest travel garments and headed for the Underground.

When I descended the curved staircase near the Marriott on Rue Peele, I literally heard birds singing and harps playing. Actually, it was the thrilling sounds of Beethoven’s Ode to Joy from a pair of Street musicians that greeted me as I descended the clean, shiny,  polished stairs.

I was speechless. In front of me stretched miles of shops, businesses, Eateries, did I say Eateries, all within a well lit, air conditioned, cheery, clean, dang near sparkling version of Oz.

Words failed to capture the feeling I had as I glided down the corridors of Undergound Montreal.

So Reader, I will put away my Thesaurus and let your eyes feast on a few of  the wonderful sights of Underground Montreal…Voila…

Are you booking your airfare? Amtrak? Greyhound? yet…See you there in September!

Love and Light.   Comments always welcomed and don’t forget to Share!